Monday, April 13, 2009

Beating myself up now.

So, I've had a few rough weeks. We were all sick for several days, then I got mastitis, and I've been on what seems like a never ending round of PMS for weeks. The stress got to me, and I caved.

I just logged in my points for the day on the Points Tracker. I went over my daily points by 18, and I didn't have any weekly points left. I'm 18 in the hole.

I'm so pissed at myself right now, I could just scream. Why is this so hard? Why am I suddenly craving all this food, and why am I unable to stop myself? How did I do so well for 3 weeks, only to turn back on all the good habits I had made? What the heck happened?!

Ugh. I'm so disgusted with myself. I feel so lost with all of this. I don't even know how to start again, and such a big part of me keeps telling me that I don't need to. There's that little voice that's telling me - nay, screaming at me - to get back up and dust myself off. I'm trying so hard to find the courage to believe that I can, and, more importantly, that I want to.

I've made up my mind that, come hell or high water, I'm going to a Weight Watchers meeting tomorrow night. I think that will really reset my frame of mind for weight loss and healthy eating. I'm hoping.

Gah. I can't believe I got sucked back into this place. I just hope I can get out.

1 comment:

  1. Tim (Your Husband)April 13, 2009 at 7:07 AM

    I know you can do it. You're strong.

    ReplyDelete